Why is it that some of us fall in love with our pets and others can look at them as 'just animals'?  I fall into the first category and it is wonderful while they are with us but so difficult when they are taken from us.

Back in June, after catching, and killing, nine mice in my basement I decided it was time to get another cat.  Our wonderful orange tabby, Calimari, had only been gone a few months - liver cancer - but I thought training a new kitten would help keep the mice out of the garage and the house.  One day at the vet I was drawn to the kitten adoption window and there was a tiny calico, gray and pale orange and white.  Something about her just drew me in.  After playing with her, then bringing Darcy in to play with her, I adopted her and brought her home.  She was so tiny, only 2 lbs, that we kept her in the old puppy crate on a table.  Plenty of room for her to play and have her litter box but safe from the ever curious Bouviers.

Bella and Nina were great with Calimari so I thought they would get used to the new kitten too over time and tried to introduce them slowly.  After Liona was spayed earlier this month I started giving her some time outside and started letting the dogs out at the same time but watching them very closely.  The dogs had their shock collars on so if they made a move toward the cat they were given a reminder to back off.  Things seemed to be going well.  Until today.

I drove up the driveway after church to be greeted by Nina and Bella outside and then saw Darcy holding Liona.  After I parked we put the dogs in a down and after a while Darcy let Liona down.  The dogs watched her but as long as she was walking slowly they stayed where they were.  Unfortunately, Nina saw her move a little quicker and she ran toward the cat and so did Bella.  Liona climbed up a tree pretty far so I started in the house for the shock collar transmitters but was too slow.  Liona jumped down and Bella grabbed her then Nina joined in.  Darcy ran down the ditch trying to pull the dogs away - I used a high shock on Bella and she backed off but Nina did not have a collar on.  Darcy struggled with her trying to get her to let go - she didn't listen or obey any commands and Bella kept trying to get back in but I kept shocking her.  The neighbor heard Darcy screaming at the dogs and though they were attacking her and came to help.  He ended up dragging them up the ditch to me and I got them in the house. 

Liona was just laying there and looked shocked.  Darcy tried to wrap her in a towel and then carry her up to me, struggling to get a foothold - she had lost her shoes in the leaves and rocks.   I took Liona from her and wrapped her as I got her to the cat carrier.  She meowed one last time as I cuddled her and I realized when I set her in the carrier she was dead.  In the hope I was wrong I still called the emergency vet number and when he called back a few minutes later I was sure it was too late.  He met us at the clinic and they will cremate her body.

I just felt this incredible sadness and guilt.  So sad that the little animal that had become a regular part of my life so quickly was gone and guilty because I could not do anything to stop it. Guilty because I could not control my dogs. Of course there are all sorts of what ifs - what if Nina had had her shock collar on, what if we had the transmitters outside with us, what if Liona was in her crate, what if Liona would have just stayed in the tree til we got the dogs, what if Nina and Bella had obeyed, what if, what if, what if......  The fact is that the dogs are herding dogs with a strong prey instinct and working together did what came naturally.  At no time were they aggressive, no growling, in fact they did not ever even bite her.  They chased the running prey and caught it and held on - harder the more she fought to get away.

I spent quite a while on the Internet reading about prey instinct, trying to figure out why they never treated Calimari in this way.  But that is relatively simple.  Cali was here first and let them know that she ruled this house.  Liona was not high enough in the pack for them to leave her alone.

Tomorrow, or I should say later today since it is 1:25 AM, I will call to inquire about more training for the dogs, and especially me, so this does not happen again.  Nina and Bella will never be allowed out of the house without their collars again, regardless of training, and I will spend more time working with them on basics again.

So here I sit, unable to sleep, seeing her little face, hearing her purring as she cuddles with me, and listening for her meow from the garage.  Another little part of my heart gone with the death of a beloved animal much too soon.  I do hope the Rainbow Bridge exists and Liona has found Hattrick and Calimari.